


Stick 'Em Up

by shellfishDimes



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Multi, Needles, OT4, Polyamory, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2012-11-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 13:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellfishDimes/pseuds/shellfishDimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is there any better way to commemorate a perfect, undying friendship other than homemade tattoos?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stick 'Em Up

**Author's Note:**

> [Act 6 Act 4](http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007338) fic, in which Dirk gives everyone SBaHJ tattoos.
> 
>  **BIG ASS DISCLAIMER:** DIY tattoos are risky and a really easy way to get ugly scars at best, or hepatitis B at worst if you don't do it right. The method described in here is not a good method to do stick'n'poke! You shouldn't follow it! Usually you'd use new needles (ideally hypodermic), prep the skin and wash your hands to the elbows with good soaps (chlorhexadine soap, for instance) and wear gloves to avoid infection. If you're doing stick'n'poke, do your research and prep and be more responsible than these fictional children!

"You promised," says Dirk . He's wielding the needle and thread and a determined expression. "You _all_ promised."

"Is there any better way to commemorate a perfect, undying friendship other than homemade tattoos?" says Roxy, already twisting the cap off her flask. "I think not!"

"Yes, but…" Jane hesitates. "I don't know! Can't we just have marker drawings for now? This isn't exactly a sterile environment, what if it gets infected?"

"What do you think this is for?" Roxy raises the flask, waving it in Jane's face. 

"We're very serious about a healthy and safe stick'n'poke environment here, Jane," agrees Dirk.

"Don't worry, Jane, there will be no hamfisted tenderfooting about this," says Jake. "Look, I'll go first and you'll see that it's just fine and dandy!"

Roxy cackles. "Roll 'em up and show us the guns, English!" 

Jake laughs, already shrugging off his jacket. He rolls up his right sleeve, slapping his forearm and grinning. "Lay it on me, Strider!"

"With pleasure," says Dirk, his mouth twitching into a grin. He sits next to Jake, and holds out a hand. Roxy places her flask into it. He brings the lip to his nose, sniffing it. "What's in this? It isn't moonshine, is it?"

"No, it's Everclear," says Roxy, and Dirk immediately moves the flask away from his nose. "What? It's 190-proof! You said you needed something with a high alcohol content to sterilise with, and this was the strongest stuff I could find in my mom's drinks cabinet."

"Isn't that illegal in at least fifteen states?" says Jane as Dirk sloshes some of the alcohol onto a corner of Jake's discarded jacket.

"Is that rhetorical?" Roxy raises her eyebrows at her. Jane shakes her head and says nothing, concentrating on watching Dirk instead. He rubs the alcohol-soaked sleeve across Jake's upper arm. 

"Unless Rox wants to suck on this jacket to get the alcohol out, you're not going to want to wear it again," comments Dirk, setting the jacket aside. Roxy tuts at him.

"I wouldn't want to when I can show off my new ink," Jake says, grinning as Dirk takes a pen from Roxy and starts drawing on his shoulder. He presses the point of the pen into Jake's skin, and Jake squirms. "Watch it!" he says. 

Dirk places his free hand against Jake's chest, making him still. "Hold your horses, you're going to make me mess up."

"Sorry," says Jake, and then he's still, letting Dirk sketch out the face of Sweet Bro on his forearm. Dirk works in assured, quick strokes, his other hand still gently resting on Jake's chest. He can feel Jake's heartbeat under his palm, quick and excited, and the slow rise and fall of Jake's chest as he breathes. 

He draws the last tooth in Sweet Bro's grin and lowers his arms, straightening up from his slouch. "Alright, we're going in balls deep with no lube. You ready for this?"

"I promised, didn't I?" says Jake.

"Sure did." Dirk pulls his hand away, realising it had been resting on Jake's hip. "Nurse Ro-Lal, the needle will need to be sterilised." Roxy leans over, and Dirk puts a small sewing needle into her waiting palm. She takes it between thumb and forefinger and, to Jane's amazed expression, produces a pink Zippo out of the top of her left glove.

As Roxy snaps the Zippo open and starts warming the needle over the flame, Jane gasps. "You two planned this!"

"Of course we did, Janey," says Roxy. "You don't just take friendship tattoos based on a cult movie lightly. I'm still getting the Big Man doing the ahlly yoop for the slam dunk on my back, right, Dirk?"

"If you're comfortable with shedding that dress for it, and if you don't drink all our sterilising fluid before I'm done with Jake and Jane," says Dirk, giving a non-committal shrug. 

"Nah, I'm just going to have a little sip for the pain," says Roxy, winking at him. 

Jake shifts uncomfortably. "Hey now, how much is this going to hurt, exactly?" he asks.

Dirk decaptchalogues a small bottle of waterproof black ink, followed by a used cap from a bottle of Orange Crush. "I did it to myself when I was fourteen," he says, carefully dripping some ink into the cap. "You'll survive."

"Okay, I think this needle is good to go!" announces Roxy. She flicks the lighter shut, and after she waits for it to cool down a bit, she gives the now sterilised needle to Dirk. He takes some thread from the spool he has on him, snapping it free. He then wraps the thread around the needle, leaving only the very tip exposed. 

He dips the tip into the ink, and holds it to Jake's skin, pre-emptively placing his free hand on Jake's chest to hold him down in case he starts squirming. He carefully pokes into the skin, just enough to make the dermis stick to the needle. Sure enough, Jake sucks breath in through his teeth and fidgets. Dirk presses his palm against Jake's chest, and Jake stops moving, muttering an apology.

Dirk's heart is hammering, and he concentrates on his breathing and poking the needle into the lines he's drawn. He moves his other hand to Jake's shoulder too, not lifting it from his chest, and pulls the skin taut so that it's easier for him to work. He doesn't need to make a lot of effort for it – Jake's upper arms are ridiculously toned, and just placing his fingers against Jake's warm skin makes Dirk's stomach flutter. He hopes that his palms won't get clammy while he's doing this.

The needle runs out of ink, so he goes to dip it in again. Jake lets out a long breath, visibly deflating. "I didn't know that would hurt! It's just a tiny needle," he says.

"Is it really that bad?" says Jane. 

"He's just being a baby, you know how they are," Roxy assures her, taking the pen Dirk had discarded. "Roll up your sleeve, then! I want to get started on drawing Geromy."

"I'm not going to have to straddle you and pin you down with my thighs to keep you steady, am I?" Dirk asks, poking the inky needle into Jake's skin again, outlining out Sweet Bro's right eye. 

"No!" Jake says, colour rushing into his cheeks. Dirk does his best to regard him impassively, but his heart still skips. "But wait just a minute here, I don't think we're in a good position for this!" 

"Couldn't agree more," says Dirk. He moves the needle away, and throws his legs across Jake's lap. Jake makes a noise of surprise and manages to draw one of his legs up before Dirk takes his arm and places it over his knees. He leans his drawing arm flush against Jake's, elbow to wrist. "Much better," he says, noticing when Jake's breathing quickens. He pulls the skin of his forearm taut again, and returns to the task and hand.

It's long, repetitive and painstaking work, but Dirk wields his patience as well as he does his sword. Jake's skin starts bleeding after a while, but his sylladex yields a first-aid kit, and Dirk uses the gauze in it to dab away the blood and excess ink. He works in silence, listening to Jake's breathing and Roxy and Jane's chatter. He doesn't pause to look their way, but Jane's voice still sounds anxious – whether about the tattoos or the game, he can't rightly tell because he's concentrating on the needle poking into Jake's skin, and the way Jake's fingers dig into his knee when he feels a particularly painful prick of the needle. 

"Hey, Dirk, can I ask you something?" Jake says.

Dirk flicks his eyes briefly upwards, meeting Jake's, who looks like he's trying really hard not to grimace with discomfort. "Shoot," he says, looking back to the tattoo and dabbing a speck of blood from Sweet Bro's nose. 

"How was it when you did that tattoo on yourself? I can't imagine what it must have been like!"

Checking the needle, Dirk finds that it's lacking ink again, and he refreshes it. "Pretty much the same as this, except I only had one hand to work with. You just need a lot of patience and a mirror," he says. "And a good supply of sterilised needles. They go dull pretty quickly, and you need to replace them so that it doesn't hurt as much."

Jake's arm muscles tense up and he breathes out heavily. "I'll bet your arm got tired! Wouldn't it have been quicker if you had one of your robots do it for you?"

"Sure it would, but that's not what I was going for. It was in homage to my bro, and it made sense that I did it myself rather than entrust something that personal to a robot," explains Dirk. "I could have built my own tattoo gun – I can still do it, it isn't exactly rocket science – but I prefer this kind of approach. It's more personal." Jake relaxes his grip on Dirk's knee. Very lightly, his hand moves just a couple of inches further up Dirk's thigh. 

"And franchise friendly," he says carefully.

"Yeah," says Dirk, moving so that he's sitting with his legs wider apart. He can feel Jake shaking ever so slightly under his hands, no doubt with the adrenaline from the pain of getting tattooed. Dirk was the same when he did his own – his entire body hummed for a good amount of time after he was done. Unlike the adrenaline rush he got from fighting, this kind was smaller, more subdued, like low voltage electricity buzzing over his skin. Jake bows his head, biting down on his lower lip and the sight makes warmth blossom in the pit of Dirk's stomach, radiating to his chest. "I'm nearly done," he says, failing to not think about what it would be like to press Jake's lip between his teeth.

Jane's chortle gives Dirk pause. He looks in her and Roxy's direction, and cracks a grin when he notices what they're doing. Roxy has taken a felt-tip pen to Jane's upper lip – she's drawing a very elegant moustache on her. It's sending both of them into fits of laughter. Roxy's free hand is on Jane's hip, and every time Jane laughs with particularly prominent enthusiasm, Roxy pinches or tickles Jane's side, making her laugh even harder. 

"Hold still, will you!" chides Roxy. She turns to Dirk, clicking her tongue. "These twenty-first century kids, I mean for real!"

"They're definitely a handful," says Dirk, Jake nonchalantly tracing a finger along the inseam of his jeans. He tries not to grin as he dips the needle into the ink one more time. He starts poking out the last detail of Sweet Bro's beard, and Jake stops stroking his thigh, balling his hand into a fist.

"Oh Jiminy Cricket, that hurts!" Jake yowls.

"Sorry, Nabroleon Bronaparte," says Dirk. "I'd change needles at this point, but we only have the three. You're just going to have to ride it out." 

"Don't you worry about me, Dirk, I can take it," says Jake, slowly unclenching his fist. 

"I don't doubt it," says Dirk. He takes a fresh piece of gauze and soaks it in the Everclear from Roxy's flask. He dabs on the tattoo, getting all the blood and spots of ink off and wiping it clean. To his credit, Jake doesn't even make a sound. Dirk casts the gauze and the needle aside, inspecting the tattoo. The skin around it is red and somewhat swollen, but otherwise it looks perfectly satisfactory, just amateur enough to be an adequate tribute to Sweet Bro. "There we go, you're finished," he says.

Jake turns his head, looking down at his shoulder. "Oh hey, that looks splendid!"

Dirk decaptchalogues a bottle of lotion and squeezes some of it onto his fingers. Gently, he rubs a thin layer over the tattoo. Jake watches him, fingers once again splayed on Dirk's thigh. Dirk isn't even sure if Jake's aware that he's doing it, but he finds that he is far from uncomfortable with it. "I'll take care of it for you," he says. "The swelling should go down in a few days."

"Thank you! You are truly the best friend a fellow could have!" Jake grins widely at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'm tickled completely pink now," he says. 

"Like a flushed, red apple?" Dirk asks. He sets the bottle of lotion aside, curling an arm around Jake's waist. Jake shifts to face him, fingers skating along Dirk's belt and ending up resting on his hip. Dirk can feel how Jake's fingers are almost shaking, and see his eyes dancing across Dirk's features.

Jake laughs a small, quiet chuckle. "A little bit like that," he says. Dirk leans closer and kisses him, just a flutter against Jake's lips at first. Then Jake's hand is at the back of his neck and Dirk parts his lips, Jake's tongue smooth against his. Dirk catches Jake's bottom lip between his teeth and gives it a light tug, making Jake laugh blithely.

"Hey, you two! I can only assume you're finished?" Jane calls out. Dirk breaks the kiss, still holding onto Jake. He sees that Roxy has successfully drawn a moustache on Jane, and that she is now sitting across Jane's lap. She is wearing a dopey grin despite the fact that one of her thigh-high socks is pulled down and her lipstick is smudged. Some of it has even ended up around Jane's mouth.

"Done and dusted," says Jake. "Come have a look!"

" _Finally,_ " huffs Roxy. She extricates herself from Jane's lap, taking Jane's hand and pulling her to her feet as well. They walk over to Dirk and Jake, and Roxy sits behind Jake. She hugs him around the waist and presses herself against his back, trapping Dirk's arm between them. "Looks good," she says, having critically inspected the tattoo. "It actually looks like it's a bad JPEG compression."

"Well done, Dirk!" Jane says, sitting next to him. He puts an arm around her waist. She leans into him, planting a kiss on his cheek. "But if it gets infected, I will tan your hide!"

"I'm next, right?" says Roxy, hooking her chin into the crook of Jake's neck. 

"No, Jane is. Yours will take the longest, since it's the biggest," says Dirk. "I'd rather leave that for the end."

"You're just going to have to be patient," says Jane. She sits up and tugs on Jake's belt loops, pulling him in for a kiss. Jake tumbles forward, followed by Roxy who is still holding onto his waist. At the last moment, Dirk grabs hold of Jake's shoulders and saves him from toppling all four of them to the ground. Jake and Jane kiss, and Jake pushes his fingers past the hem of Dirk's shirt, stroking the skin of his lower back. 

Roxy raises her eyebrows at Dirk over Jake's shoulder. She unhooks her arms from around Jake's waist, and pokes all her ten fingers into Dirk's stomach. Dirk draws in breath just as she starts wriggling them. He laughs breathlessly and Roxy grins, sitting up to kiss him on the forehead. 

"I'm not getting out of my dress for you unless you take those off," she says, indicating Dirk's glasses. 

"Of course not, that would be unthinkable!" Jane says, giving Jake a gentle shove. He sits back, and Roxy seizes the chance to kiss right under his ear, making him grin. Jane takes Dirk's glasses, taking them off his face and captchaloguing them in her sylladex. "You're all set," she says. She regards him for a moment, and then brings a hand to his jaw, turning his head so that she can kiss him. Dirk pulls her in closer, which makes her let out a delighted sound against his mouth.

"I'm impressed with how brave you were, Mister English," says Roxy. Her hands slowly inch under Jake's shirt, pushing it up and exposing his stomach. "I think you deserve a reward for your courage."

"There won't be much time for this when we start doing our quests," says Jane, taking a stray lock of Dirk's hair and twisting it around her fingers. 

"You'll have to wear gas masks in LOTAK, and then there will be no room for smooching," says Roxy, grinning at Dirk. "We'd better make good use of the time we've got." She leans forward, planting a long, wet kiss on Dirk's lips. When she moves away again, Dirk can bet that there are lipstick smears all around his mouth. He finds that he doesn't care a bit.

"I'm ready for my reward, Miss Lalonde!" Jake says.

Roxy grins deviously, and then both her hands are under Jake's shirt, tickling him. "Congratulations! You've won a tickling war!" 

Jake howls with laughter, trying to fight Roxy off, but Jane holds his wrists, immobilising his hands. Dirk's fingers join Roxy's at Jake's stomach, and their joint efforts make Jake spasm with laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks. He collapses to the side, red in the face and out of breath, and they all follow. Roxy catches Dirk's fingers, stilling them and stopping the tickling.

"You… absolute… monsters!" Jake stammers out. He takes his glasses off, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"Truer words were never spoken," says Jane, laughter barely suppressed in her voice. "First you mutilate him for life, and then you torture him like this!"

"Don't worry," says Dirk, "you're up next."


End file.
